"And I'd Give Up Forever To Touch You..." --Johnny Reznik

When told I had to be induced, I asked if I could wait for a few hours...WHO DOES THAT?!? Ha, Marc and Crystal, because of course Marc would have been a couple of hours away THAT particular day. I mean, our last baby was born 1 year to the day after her brother, so does this REALLY seem so surprising? ;) Our timing is always interesting...as many of you know.

I'm not going to bore everyone with a lot of the details that don't matter to anyone except Cindy and Nancy, (because their nurses, not because they are boring) but the induction started around noon and he was born around 7:30pm. This is kind of debatable because the antethisologist had me so numb...I couldn't feel my legs when the nurses would move or touch them. It is the WEIRDEST feeling to be reading something and look up to see your leg in the air being moved by a nurse. Wow, I didn't know that was up there!

The nurse was having a hard time keeping the monitor belt on the baby's heartbeat because he kept moving down. This is where we should have clued in. They decided to check to see how far I had dilated, and I was about a 7 when they decided to "ready" the bed. (I'm trying my best to not be graphic throughout this) So they did one or two things and then the Good Doctor pulls back the blankets to begin and THERE he WAS...Little Jackson was just laying there in the middle of the bed, kicking!!! I let out a very Rachel from Friends "UH!" and said "He's HERE!" Poor Dr. Reseig and the nurse were scrambling...it was just so shocking! In a flurry of cord cutting and my dad walking in the room (no one knew I had JUST had the baby!) and being ushered out, and spilling his drink in the doorway,( poor guy was about to get knocked down by 8 NICU nurses rushing in) Little Jackson had made his entrance..this kid I swear just cant do anything normal already. A friend of mine said, "Leave it to Crystal to have a baby and not even know it!" :) But really, I was so numb and we are talking all of 2lbs 6oz! My others have all been around 8.

SO, they got him stable enough to go to the NICU nursery, and before the did they wheeled him over in his little incubator, all wrapped up in saran wrap (keeps preemie's heat in since they cant do it very well, they take it off after their temperature is stabilized) and let me look at him...and then he was off. We didn't know anything for almost 3 hours, which they came and spoke with us before the delivery and told us that would be the way it went. They take them back and check them all out, and then bring back a report of the baby's preliminary condition.

The NICU doctor came in and basically said he was stabilized, and that a valve in his heart was not closed, in preemie's this happens a lot; full term babies close upon birth. They said they would give him medicine to close and then would do an echocardio gram in a few days to see if it was successful. Another big issue was whether or not there was any bleeding in his brain from broken capillaries (I think..something like that) which is another big concern in babies so young since the skin is not fully formed. Obviously this could cause some serious developmental issues or retardation, etc... They would not do this test for a few days, to be thorough on the results. We were told he was critical, but stable.

Everything kinda got blurry then..I was pretty worn out, but Marc went to see him, along with about 6 other people...and my dear awesome sister stayed the night with me and sent Marc home with Colby to sleep. Since I had to get feeling back in my legs and get my I.V.'s out and things before I could go see him, it wasn't until 2:30am that I was finally able to be put in a wheel chair and Mel able to wheel me down to the nursery. I was a little shorter than the bed he was in, but I could see him and touch his hand. We didn't stay long...but long enough, I was just happy to be able to see him before going to bed.

It was a week to the day before I got to hold him. I was in the car listening to one of my favorite, favorite bands, The Goo Goo Dolls, and I song I had heard for years suddenly had new meaning for me...it wasn't about relationships anymore, but Lil Jackson...

"And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now

And all I could taste is this moment
And all I can breath is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight

And you cant fight the tears that aint coming
Or the moment the truth in you lies
When everything feels like the movies
You bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When every thing's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am'

Crystal